How to deal with overwhelm (Without trying to fix everything)

Before you have even opened your eyes, your mind has already begun to think about the many tasks that the day has in store.  By lunchtime, you've started three different things but haven't finished any of them. You realise you’ve forgotten to reply to that text AGAIN. You still need to do a food shop and have absolutely no idea what you’re eating for dinner tonight.  You’ve not managed to tick off much from your to-do list by the end of the day, but you go to bed feeling completely drained.  Sound familiar?

What does overwhelm actually feel like?

Overwhelm doesn't just affect your mind. It can make even simple decisions feel exhausting. Your thoughts race, your shoulders become tense, your breathing becomes shallow and even resting can make you feel guilty. You may begin avoiding social situations simply because you don't have the energy.

Why we become so overwhelmed?

Modern day life is demanding!  We are always ‘online and available’ – surrounded by news, notifications, calls and texts.  Seeing other people's success and happiness constantly on social media leaves us feeling we should be doing better.  All of these things put immediate pressure on us, leaving us feeling overwhelmed and emotionally exhausted.

Stop trying to fix everything

To cope with overwhelm, we need to ask ourselves: what is the most important thing?  What can wait?  We often worry about letting ourselves and other people down but if we don’t put our own wellbeing at the front of the list, then we can’t be our best self for others either.  So, decide whether something can wait, work out what is a priority and think about what you’re doing just to keep others happy.  Work out whether you are creating too much pressure for yourself without realising.   If the pressure is coming from external sources, then you need to consider whether they are reasonable, because people who have your best interests at heart will understand when you say ‘no’ or ‘not right now’.  

Put your wellbeing first

Choose just one action you can take, which will improve your immediate wellbeing, whilst it won’t solve everything on your list, it will interrupt the cycle of overwhelm and help you regain a sense of clarity.  Write a list or put any thoughts on paper, get some fresh air and take some deep breaths, enjoy your favourite drink without any distractions, go to sleep 15 minutes earlier.  Taking a small amount of time to balance and focus yourself can help with overwhelm and put your mind in a clearer space to tackle things.

Perfection is never the goal

Forgive yourself, accept what is possible, prioritise what’s important and start again with small steps.  When we're overwhelmed, our instinct is often to work harder, do more and push through. In reality, the opposite is often what helps most. By slowing down, choosing one priority and letting go of perfection, we give ourselves the space to think more clearly. Small changes won't solve everything overnight, but they can help you take back a sense of control.

Overwhelm isn't a sign that you're failing. It's often a sign that you've been carrying too much for too long.

Your gentle step today

What is one thing you can let go of today?